Lessons from Anne of Green Gables: Embracing Patience in Parenting

Written by Jamie C. Martin, editor of Simple Homeschool

“There, there, Marilla, you can have your own way,” said Matthew reassuringly. “Only be as good and kind to her as you can without spoiling her. I kind of think she’s one of the sort you can do anything with if you only get her to love you.”

As a child, I spent countless hours enthralled by the adventures of a spirited red-headed orphan. Anne didn’t just entertain me; she instilled values that took root in my life—an affection for books, a passion for writing, and a persistent sense of wonder. Her influence continues to resonate through my journey as a parent.

I devoured the entire Anne of Green Gables series numerous times during my formative years, along with everything penned by L.M. Montgomery. Her narratives shaped my understanding of the world.

Years later, as a newlywed, I stumbled upon Montgomery’s journals. Within these pages, her complexities were laid bare: a balance of joy and heartache that altered my perception of Anne herself.

Through it all, Anne still had wisdom to impart—especially about parenting.

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“Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive—it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

With a renewed perspective as a parent of three, I approached Anne of Green Gables with a specific question: What parenting lessons could I uncover? The answer lay in a simple yet profound truth:

Embrace flexibility and trust the maturation process.

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Anne's early years are marked by mischief—whether it's spinning fanciful tales, dyeing her hair a disastrous green, or wrestling with her emotions in heated moments. Sound familiar?

Her fierce temperament surfaces, especially when she lashes out at Gilbert for teasing her. Even when he apologizes, her grudges linger:

“Gilbert took from his desk a little pink candy heart with a gold motto on it, “You are sweet,” and slipped it under the curve of Anne’s arm. Whereupon Anne arose, took the pink heart gingerly between the tips of her fingers, dropped it on the floor, ground it to powder beneath her heel, and resumed her position without deigning to bestow a glance on Gilbert.”

Marilla, her strict guardian, begins to soften in response to Anne's character. At one point, she even opts to homeschool Anne, allowing her to learn in a less structured environment:

“Marilla took Mrs. Rachel’s advice and not another word was said to Anne about going back to school. She learned her lessons at home, did her chores, and played with Diana in the chilly purple autumn twilights…”

Amidst Anne’s wildness lies a wealth of potential—her imagination, intelligence, and spirit, all needing time to be cultivated.

Eventually, those qualities flourish beautifully.

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Reflecting on Anne's growth made me think of a quote from Unschooling Rules: 55 Ways to Unlearn What We Know About School and Rediscover Education:

“The truth here is that maturation is magic. Irrational teenagers do become rational. Calmness and focus return. All of childhood is filled with times of equilibrium and disequilibrium.

Children’s bodies do each have their own clock. Each clock just may not match the expectations of the structures around the children.”
~ Chapter 40, Maturing solves a lot of problems

Have you found yourself too rigid in your homeschooling approach? What if trusting the process meant easing up a bit—perhaps finding humor in the chaos and embracing the journey ahead?

“… a little ‘appreciation’ sometimes does quite as much good as all the conscientious ‘bringing up’ in the world.”

Do you need to give yourself some grace? Share your stories about allowing maturation to unfold. Are there any fellow fans of Anne out there?